Forget Scott Walker

Rumors circulate that Walker’s campaign manager, Rick Wiley, is on his way out, which makes sense.  The idea of “I am Walker, Destroyer of Worlds, Wreaker of Havoc” must have come from him, or at least he signed off on it.  My God.  And then I hear that one of Walker’s post-debate spinners is out there proclaiming that his man has shown himself to be unintimidated, yet again.  A line that had been prepared by, one must assume, Wiley.  Go sell some insurance, man, you’re in the wrong business.

In the debate, Walker was himself, which is a problem.  He’s not good enough.  This field is too big, and too good, and he doesn’t stand out in any way.  I assume he has some gullible donors who will keep him afloat for a while, but you’ve got to cross him off your list.  He’s a bland man in a television age.

Jeb! was the earnest, if ineffectual, vice principal trying to get the kids to stop shooting spitwads at Miss Quigley.  He’s a nice man.  Too nice.  If we want nice we go with kindly Dr. Carson.  We want strength and confidence, not nice.

Parson Ted is unnerving.  He looks straight in the camera, straight in your eye, and like a trained hamster he rattles off his exquisitely crafted sentences and paragraphs, as though he were reading a legal brief.  And just as inspiring.  There’s something robotic about this guy.

Especially compared to Don Juan of Florida, who speaks just as fluidly, but to far more effect.  It seemed a little canned, but it was very good.  The bottle of water gimmick, though.  Fire whoever came up with that idea.  This man will win Florida for us, and be a fine Vice President.

I happened to catch a little of the under card, enough to see that little pipsqueak Lindsey Graham do his Patton imitation.  Pathetic.

I thought Kasich was terrific, except at the end. He wasn’t on much, but he handled himself well, and for those who were paying attention he made far more sense on Iran than any of the others, especially Cruz.  At the very end, when he interjected about defending Judeo-Christian values, it just didn’t work.  He was too rushed, and he couldn’t make his case coherently.  I understand what he was trying to say, and it’s worth saying.  But this format didn’t give him the time.  That case needs to be made in some detail.

Kasich was under no pressure in this debate.  He’s on a roll in New Hampshire, which is where it counts.  He just needed to put in a solid performance, which he did.  He chose, for the most part, not to join the clamor for recognition.  There were others up there who needed it more than he did.

I finally came up with my Trump-alike:  Joe Pesci, in My Cousin Vinnie.  I don’t think the Donald won any new fans, but I doubt he lost many either.  He’s a celebrity, not a politician.  A celebrity is judged by an entirely different set of rules.

I just don’t know what they are.

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